Lingua australis

I had a conversation with a Southern man today. At least, I think I did. His drawl was so thick that I had to rely exclusively upon my spidey-sense and non-verbal cues to glean information. For instance, I was able to discern that this gentleman had either been in the Navy or had an affinity for the Navy by the fact that he was wearing a US Navy hat. I smiled when he smiled. When he chuckled, I chuckled. And when he expected me to make a contribution, I had to make vacuous pronouncements such as "That is quite a thing you have described."

Lessons learned

The lesson for the week is that if you are pitted against four Marines in unarmed combat, the Marines win. The instructors said they will exercise restraint. Restraint is not, however, a core competency of the United States Marine Corps. Later, it did give me the opportunity to strip & clean an M4 using a swollen and non-functional right hand. And, perhaps in a bit of poetic justice, in another scenario one of our attackers received a bloody nose & a black eye from a student. That poor dude was scheduled to be part of a color guard for the Commander @ Quantico that evening.

Fredericksburg - Part 3

I went to downtown Fredericksburg yesterday to relax and catch up on some work. Turns out I'd arrived just in time for the Fredericksburg Christmas Parade! A parade is always a great way to get into the spirit of the season. Also, my car was blocked in.

Street vendors were out in droves. One enterprising individual was selling trinkets out of a souped-up shopping carts. He repeatedly had to yell "No brakes!" as he struggled to keep his wares from tumbling down the hill. Besides proving to be physically demanding, it also seemed to prevent him from stopping and actually selling anything. Another man was selling blow-up dolls... "I've got Santa, Rudolph... Rudolph's girlfriend!" (?) The Cub Scouts seemed to be doing the most brisk business, selling hot chocolate for a dollar a cup out of a gigantic thermos.

Southern charm was also being served in abundance. One gentleman asked me if anyone was sitting in the vacant spot to my left. I told him no, and he then proceeded to unfurl a gigantic Confederate flag towel for his family to sit on. Another girl was wearing a solid-red Wawa sweatshirt, indicating a pride in gas stations/convenience stores not normally seen north of the Mason-Dixon line (although I seem to recall Hot Topic selling 7-11 t-shirts at one point). The Chik-Fil-A cows imploring us to "Eat Mor Chikin" were a featured part of the procession, although one of them was (quite inexplicably) wearing an Indian headdress. Another float featured a pirate ship, with the sabre-rattling buccaneers singing a karaoke version of "Sweet Home Alabama." I know that whenever I think of Alabama, the first thing that comes to mind is pirates.

On a more serious note, everyone was incredibly friendly and welcoming, happy to explain to the newcomer the significance of the various displays. The most rousing was the Spotsylvania combined band, which took up two whole city blocks. The most creative was the local school for the deaf, which did a sign-language version of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." It was a huge event; the entire parade lasted 2 hours! According to one of the couples next to me, the 2006 parade had to limit the entries to 100 but apparently that limit had gone out the window. Just as my toes started to freeze completely solid, along came the finale. The GM Powertrain plant in Spotsylvania is one of the major sponsors of the parade: Santa's procession was made up of different GM vehicles standing in for the reindeer, and Santa's sleigh gave us this send-off "Happy Holidays... and buy GM!"

All in all, not a bad way to spend a Saturday evening.